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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Haiku



I left this note tonight when I went out. Got home and reread it, and it looked like a Haiku to me.  What do you think?
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13 comments:

  1. ElizTJuly 23, 2008 at 5:34 AM

    Yes. I like the ambiguity; it could hold a command, and Walmart could be code for your name. In fact the whole thing could be in code.

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  2. Debra KayJuly 23, 2008 at 9:16 AM

    It gives me a warm feeling, because it conveys so much more than just logistics. I see two people who care about each other, simply touching base.

    I am ok, I ate
    Won't be here when you arrive home
    Bargain prices call!

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  3. MimJuly 23, 2008 at 10:14 AM

    Eliz - you're right - is was a code..and it appears that Deb has decoded the overall message.

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  4. sukipoetJuly 23, 2008 at 12:56 PM

    Cute post and comments too. Yes, methinks you are the next Basho.

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  5. soulbrushJuly 23, 2008 at 1:35 PM

    who ate my spaghetti?
    who are you?
    where?

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  6. ElizTJuly 23, 2008 at 4:14 PM

    Or,
    'I have burgled your house,
    will be back for the replaced electronics,
    I am everywhere'

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  7. ElizTJuly 23, 2008 at 5:42 PM

    Or,
    Been at the leftovers again?
    Get yourself back here!
    I thought I told you to go to Walmart!

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  8. TeriJuly 23, 2008 at 6:52 PM

    Some really fun poems here, none of which are haiku (sorry to be a stick in the mud). But Haiku is usually set out as 5-7-5 syllables for the three lines.

    I ate spaghetti
    Know that I will be right back
    Right after Walmart

    :)

    Please don't shoot me now
    It is part of the teaching
    To the haiku poets

    :) :)

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  9. MimJuly 23, 2008 at 9:29 PM

    You all are too funny! this is great!

    I think I liked the progression of 4 - 3 - 2 as opposed to the traditional 5-7-5, even tho' it was totally unintentional.

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  10. Debra KayJuly 24, 2008 at 12:20 AM

    Omigod, I was going to call foul, but I counted my syllables and was off one in the middle line. eeek.

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  11. switchJuly 24, 2008 at 5:50 PM

    blog post supreme.

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  12. Cris, Artist in OregonJuly 24, 2008 at 10:26 PM

    Chuckling over all the comments.
    Sounds like Walmart is going to be back soon to eat more spagetti.
    You will need a pile more to fill it's belly. :)

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  13. SteveJuly 28, 2008 at 7:09 PM

    It reminds me of that fantastic William Carlos Williams poem which also started out as something pinned to a fridge door:

    "This Is Just To Say"


    I have eaten

    the plums

    that were in

    the icebox



    and which

    you were probably

    saving

    for breakfast



    Forgive me

    they were delicious

    so sweet

    and so cold

    ReplyDelete

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