I had a complete meltdown last night. I didn't rant and rave (which I'm proud of) but did pout and whine (which I am not proud of). Of course I realize that I had this meltdown due to burning the candle at both ends for a week, but not burning with a clean flame.
A week of travel, and business dinners (and breakfasts....and lunches...!) and more travel home; then a weekend away with the friends was just too much in a way. During the weekend I didn't draw, knit or read for one tiny minute - we were too busy chattering, hiking or cooking. I had a great time, as I've said - but this morning I realize that I can't keep going on this way and that something has got to go by the wayside. I feel that I can't continue to work as hard as I do to support my little family; exercise and live a healthier lifestyle; be a wife (need I say more...that's A LOT of work!), draw and paint and sew and knit. There are some days when it all seems do-able and there are others when I really feel that I have to choose which direction I am going in.
I would drop knitting but took it up because it was something that I could do and be in the same room as DH while he cooked or watched a movie. I could participate and be with him while not really engaged in his activity.
I can't stop exercising, in fact I need to do more. We bike ride together and hike and I need to boost up the independent exercise routine for health, weight and stamina.
I can't stop working yet - simply can't. I've thought about selling our house, living a simpler lifestyle - but it has to be near a good hospital which knows about transplants - if, god forbid, we need that expertise.
That leaves a choice between being a wife; drawing; and sewing.
Tough choices.