For Animal Wednesday today - I have given a donation to "A Place to Bark" as Bernie is looking to finalize her animal shelter. If you have a few dollars - click on the link shown above (in bold letters) and help out this wonderful lady doing such terrific work with the animals.
HAW to you all, and hope for homes for all the animals that are out in this cold rainy weather.
Yes...Miss Em is going to make her first appearance in my Etsy Shop in a 40 page book containing:
Miss Em goes on vacation Flying over mountains The Road back The Cage Singing Too much talk Bike Riding Miss Em’s Work experience
Right now I am producing these books on MAC, and they are expensive - so each page will be signed and a personalized inscription to the buyer will be included. I'm listing them now but it'll be about 2 weeks before they are delivered to you from me. I'm only printing two hardcover large books and two soft cover medium sized books and if I sell them all (fingers crossed) and anyone wants to buy one, just let me know. The hard covers will be $60.00 and the soft covers will be $30.00. Not cheap I know but really high quality books and a pleasure to thumb thru.
When I was home alone last week and weekend, I organized and cleaned to my hearts content. 3 big bags of clothes to Goodwill. Organized closets, redid my (stuffed full) linen closet and used those space bags that compress your stuff to nothing. Went thru shoes, and coats and much much more. It feels so good to complete those tasks - and now I have the basement to tackle. So in the spirit of completion, and organizing I have 1) started up my Etsy shop again and 2) begun completing works in progress.
This was my first watercolor fish picture, and not the best but it has a place in my heart as we all know about me and fish pictures.
Looking at it now, I can see my hesitancy, and fear of losing control. Isn't it interesting what you learn about yourself when you look at something that you have completed? Not only learning new techniques, but seeing your own hesitation, or insecurity or your confidence and security. Anyway, it's a lesson for me - and one that I'm sure I will learn over and over. DH is always telling me to "not worry about ruining a painting" and he is very right. These fish were sitting blomp on a white page, so this morning I threw in the blue waves and I like it much better. And it's "done" - whatever that really means. The next one in process will be better, the colors will work better together and already I can see a freer hand at work.
So - what is the morale of this Sunday am post? Not much I guess - but my own take home message is to minimize (a tiny bit - complete minimization is impossible for me). So...I am going to do a Give Away of embellishments, and some books - which I will list here when I get done with today's basement clean out.
I love going to the beach in California - not that I actually got to see this actual animal, but there is usually something going on if you get to the more secluded beaches. Seals, birds, lots of starfish, elephant seals. I'm in San Diego without my camera - but I did hear some seal barking off in the distance yesterday during a late afternoon walk.
I am in San Diego right now - got here late last night - and woke up this morning wondering where the heck I was. This is the sixth room that I've slept in over the past three weeks (and I didn't have as much fun as I'd like in any of them) - so I get confused when I wake up.
Home again at the end of the week. Right now, being home with hubby sounds more foreign than being away.
I hate when this happens! I was out tonight with a cousin, had a great time. Didn't overeat or drink wine (I had to drive home, I was my own designated driver since DH is still out of town). I got into bed and fell right asleep and then BOOM - 1 hour later I am up and while tired am so edgy and twitchy that I can't go back to sleep. Its not RLS, I know what that feels like. It's something else. I know the feeling because I start to chew my nails.
I'm going to try some hot milk and a basement visit to the drawing tools. I'm hoping to be asleep before 3:00 am. Have plans for a breakfast fun with friends early, the Head-of-the-Charles Regatta tomorrow afternoon and DH comes home tomorrow night.
Maybe it's anxiety about too many plans tomorrow.....
But not raining in my heart - take a look at this post, I am delighted at what a good time we had! What good friends I have. I suggest that we plan this again, and INSIST on a time when Joss and Marianne and Lynn and Teri and Cris and... and... and ....can all come too.
On the home front, we just heard yesterday that MIL is being released today from hospital and going to rehab. Of course we hadn't set up rehab yet, since they were telling us that she needed more surgery. Immediately, urgent surgery. Then they say, oh no...you can do the second procedure when you want. Very Frustrating, but at least she is getting out. DH had to go to Target and buy some clothes, since she only had hospital gowns available. I would have given alot to be a fly on the wall when he bought a packet of panties.
I was supposed to go down again tonight to spend the weekend but am perfectly happy to stay home waiting for him to come home. Poor guy has worked so hard this week, I hope he's ready to come home to freezing, rainy cold weather.
I hope this chapter is closed, we'll see how it goes over the next few weeks, but let me tell you...the last two weeks have been one roller coaster ride after another!
This funny little lizard clung to our windshield for a few blocks while we were driving from the hotel to the hospital. His little feet squished down and his little neck wattled in the wind. Eventually he flew off, but DH swears he saw him land on a tree.
Kinda looks like the inside of a submarine no? Perspective is not my strong point.
I came home for a visit last night. Sarasota to Atlanta. Stop. Wait. Wait. Wait. OK - get on the plane to Boston. Wait. Wait. Wait (thank you iPOD for sanity). Got home at around 12:00 am, but didn't go to sleep until about 3:00 am. Was much to excited about being home after two weeks, in the cool weather, with my own things around me and my own bed - so delicious! I turned on the outside lights to see the colors, look at all the leaves down around the house, sniff the wood-smoke filled air; breathed in the cool night air. It tasted and felt delicious.
Found out today that MIL's insurance will only send her to a ratty "skilled" nursing home for rehab - which would be a complete drag for her. We have to decide what to do next. I have my leanings, DH must have his but since he is still in Florida, it's a bit difficult to review.
We'll see, we'll see. Health insurance is a tangled web. MIL choose a "cheaper" plan - and is paying for her savings with cheaper care. We should have known...maybe. I truly don't know if national health care would help in this situation, I believe not but I'm no expert. Dirty, lousy nursing homes are abundant and will continue to be so - I'm sure.
We had a lizard clinging to our windshield the other day, and DH yelled out - "now THATS a wednesday animal if I ever saw one". We took pictures and I am hoping to draw the bugger tonight but it's late already, and there are no magic pixies in the house to clean up after my dinner. Lizzy was kinda cute though and if I could draw it right, would be an interesting "Wednesday Animal" ( I mean, really - HWA means nothing - HAW is delightful - but I didn't correct DH, he was sweet to notice)
I worked from the hotel room yesterday and went to visit MIL at night. She's doing great, pretty out of it, but did ask where we went for dinner and what I had. She also asked me to scratch her head, so I did.
Then we came back to this hotel, and I crashed to sleep.
All night long DH kept singing in his sleep - "That's the way (uh huh, uh huh) I Like it (uh huh, uh huh).
Another Wednesday and no animals. I could find a picture of some stalking beast and show it following me around, but no point in illustrating my feelings and fears. Instead I am showing a Greek Goddess - read to the end and you will find out why.
What a week.
MIL had her surgery yesterday and lived thru it. First step completed. Now we wait to see if she had any nasty side effects - such as stroke, or kidney damage. We are at Shands Hospital in Gainesville, and I have never met such a wonderful group in a big city hospital. Everyone, from the security guards, to the cafeteria workers, to the nurses and doctors have been kind, compassionate, caring, polite, sincere and helpful. Is it because we are in the South? I'm used to Northern big city hospitals - where you get great care, and warmth from your immediate caretakers, but overall...the message is "you're on your own!".
The way my life has always gone is funny. If something good is going to happen, or has already happened - there are lots of little things that go wrong - just to remind me to be thankful for the big stuff. Here is the list of little annoyances and my thoughts about each.
1) when I found out that MIL had this condition, I was on a plane and got an email from my brother. In my anxiety, I left my brand new, purple fleece jacket in the overhead compartment. Basically, AirCanada told me to bug off when I mentioned it to them and tried to get it. OK - one lost jacket - upside? I'll go shopping with mom when I get back to Sarasota, she and I love to shop together - so it's a good excuse to go out together.
2) we rented a car in Tampa, and drove like crazy between Sarasota and Gainesville and back to Sarasota for the weekend. Monday AM we were getting ready to drive back to Gainesville, we went to put something in the car - which was left in mom's driveway - and NO CAR to be seen. Stolen! OK - one lost car (and bicycle) - upside? none of our personal stuff was in the car, insurance covers the cost of a stolen rental car, DH hadn't totally bonded with that bike and we weren't carjacked
3) My cell phone is missing - maybe it's at the restaurant we went to last night - maybe it's not. Upside? if I don't find it, I might just get an iPhone - which I would love. They are expensive and that worries me a bit but I love the applications you can get on that phone. There appear to be some awesome mountain biking apps - woohoo!
4) As I was sitting here writing this, I see a cup of coffee waiting to be sipped. As I reach my hand for it I think - "it will get spilled" and yup..it does. All over everything on the desk. Upside? I had enough caffeine today already.
Postscript - the stolen car got recovered last night, keys were in the ignition, no damage to the car. Kids probably just wanted the bike!
I look upon these little annoyances as propitiation to the gods - tiny little sacrifices for the bigger good. The more these little annoying things happen, the more confident I feel that MIL will be just fine.
Has anyone read the book "Gods behaving Badly"? Good book, good read especially for a superstitious person like myself who secretly believes that you do have to complete some type of sacrifice or propitiation to the gods/god/goddess (whatever!) for good things to happen to you and yours.
Enough said, more later -
Thank you ALL for all your support and good wishes. It really does help...alot.
We dashed to Sarasota on Thursday where MIL was in the country club of hospitals - with lovely views and delicious food. Friends nearby could visit and she was quite content - albeit, confused as to why they wanted her to stay in the hospital. She kept claiming that she "feels fine" and the medical staff keeps pointing out that she is a walking time bomb with a huge aneurysm. They were keeping her in Sarasota until a bed could be found in Gainesville - a big city hospital where the ONLY surgeon who specializes in this type of surgery can be found. Finally they got a bed opened for her and an ambulance came and got her for the 3 hour drive. DH and I drove later that night and finally got to bed after 24 wakeful hours.
More tests the next day. Finally last night a visit from the surgeon. "oh yes, it has to be done - but I can't do it Monday, we'll see about Tuesday or Wednesday". And all this in a big, rather depressing city hospital; far from friends.
We are very conflicted. We don't "need" to be here and are taking time off from work and staying in a hotel. We will "need" to be here later on when decisions might need to be made; or when care needs to be given. I "need" to be at work after this last year of Dad's death, and mom's accident, and lawyers, lawyers, lawyers! So the plan is that I will go home tomorrow and come back later in the week..and I feel that this is what I want to do...and therefore I also feel guilty.
Guilt. what a burden! Since I really do want to go home, and am here for basically moral support only, I feel guilty that perhaps I am doing what I want to do and not what I "should" be doing. I've spent most of my life doing the bidding of others, and after all that time, I get confused at understanding if I am doing something to be a "good" person (wife, daughter, etc) or if I am doing the right thing for myself and all concerned. I struggle with the split between being available for others and needing to be available for myself.
I ramble on here. I'm tired of smiling and talking to Doctors and Nurses and telling them "yes, I have a medical background, don't talk to me like I'm a two year old". I'm worried about MIL - this is HUGE surgery and she may not survive, or may survive with complications, or may just be fine. I'm worried about what her insurance covers. I'm sad, she is very dear to me and I can't stand the thought of losing her just yet. I'm worried about how my husband will take it if she does not come thru this with flying colors.
I've been up in Prince Edward Island all week for work and it's been so crazy that I truly had no idea that it was Animal Wednesday. Sorry about that.
And to boot, on the way home I got an email from my brother with news that my MIL is very sick and that I should go directly to Florida with DH. So we are leaving tomorrow early AM.
Poor MIL - she's really a wonderful mother in law - never had a tiny bit of complaint about her, she's stoic and always game to do something. She's had a tough time, lost a newborn baby way back in the 50's; lost her husband in the late 60's and her daughter and one sister about 4 years ago. Moved to Florida from Washington to make it more convenient for us to visit her and to enjoy my family and make her own new friends. This is a bad thing she has, aortic aneurysm, and emergency surgery is the only treatment. We are worried, and tense. We are hoping for the best and all prayers are appreciated.