A calming sunday

Today was truly a day of rest, just working in the garden and household chores.  Emotionally I still feel bruised and that is coming out in the quilt that I have been making. 

A friend at work asked if I could make a quilt for her for a baby shower that she has to go to early June. Of course, I was thrilled but in the midst of all that we had the "bad husband" thing happen and I totally forgot about it. So when she asked me this week if it was almost finished, I told her the truth, and said that I'd have it done by next week. 

I think I've said before how much of yourself you sew into a quilt- or into anything that you make.  Well, this quilted blanket has given me more trouble than I would ever believe.  I am definitely sewing my feelings into it. It's wrinkled, and stretched out wrong, I've had to stitch and pick out stitches; the border started out at 9 inches wide but has been cute down to 5 inches.  The binding color is all wrong, and I'll have to make new. It needs pressing, and washing and if I wasn't giving it away - it'd go into the goodwill box, so that I wouldn't see it again.  

Every quilt has a story, and this one is a tangled mess.  

Happy Times

We went to NH yesterday to watch Sean play with his baseball team.  Got to the field, saw Sean with his friends but stayed low profile (nothing like your aunt coming up to kiss you in front of your teammates!) Anyway, Tony went over and said hello, figured out what was going on and then we waited...and waited...for Sean to get into the game.  Finally the coach smartened up and had him pitch the last two innings (5 inning games).  It was great to watch this graceful, tall, thin wonderful kid pitch - I can't figure out if he got the "win" or the "save" - but either way  - to me - he's certainly the winner!   

Saturday night - update

Hi all, 

Sorry to be such a downer yesterday - I'll tell you what happened. 

Remember a few weeks ago I found some porn on a friends computer?  I took the advice and never said anything to her, but just found out yesterday, thru tears and wailing, that she also found it. AND - she started doing some snooping and found out that her beloved husband of 15 years - as close a best friend as she ever thought she would have - has been doing more than just internet activities - he's been fooling around with at least one woman - maybe two!   She read emails, and tracked some phone numbers and had figured out what was - or had been - going on.  She's not vindictive and is not going to call out these women - but was one very angry and devastated woman. 

It devastated me also, since their marriage is one of those that you think is "perfect".  He is sensitive to her needs, but fun...seemingly devoted, supportive of her career, pitches in at home and to top it off - ain't bad looking.  There is an age difference between them - he's about 10 years older than her (must be around 50) but is active, and successful.  It always rocks my boat when something this dramatic happens to a close friend. 

We spent hours talking and crying and I just listened.  I don't know at all how to advise her, but did recommend that she take some time to get her anger under control, gave her the name of a therapist and then got mad myself, and fumed and cried all night.  I still just can't believe it - I would have never thought that he would cheat on his wonderful, loving wife.  (but of course, I reminded myself that I have no idea as to what goes on behind their bedroom doors - and have no intention of asking.)

She did confront him with her findings and he claims that "nothing really happened" and "don't worry about it - it meant nothing" and "it'll never happen again" etc etc, but really did not seem all that remorseful from what she said.  

How can you ever trust someone who would do this to you?  Was it just a fall from grace, or a lifelong habit?  How can one tell?  

Are all men just dogs?   Any answers out there???

I certainly am glad that I wasn't the one to tell her about his internet stuff, wow, what a mess that would have been. 

Rainy Friday

Hi all, 

It's a very rainy Friday night and the weather is just about keeping up with my mood. This has been a tough week for me, and as I read others posts - seems to be a tough week for a few of us. 

Stuff has come to light that I can't even talk about yet - and certainly haven't come to grips with in my own mind yet.  Basically I'm somewhat shattered and am looking around for the pieces - I don't even recognize them when I pick them up. What piece is this?  oh...a piece of my heart (thanks Janis) - well, let's just toss it on the ground and stomp on it a bit more. 

Up side - lost 5 lbs since Sunday.  Down side - feel like crap.  

I won't go into it more here, but will keep you posted as I crawl out of this hole. 

Somewhat good news is the new endocrinologist put me on T4 yesterday - said "oh my goodness, you have such a large thyroid" (thanks doc!) so hopefully that will help with some energy issues.  We'll see. This doc is a little bit unconventional, and begins to give you T3 also in addition to T4.   I, as usual, am hoping for miracles with the help of modern medicine.   

Ah well... I'm off to Prince Edward Island on Monday, it might just be good to get away.  Hopefully it won't be cold and rainy up there - if it is - I just might jump into the Atlantic and swim away with the silkies. 

Can't even get the scanner to work again for "Wide".   The whole world is out to get me today

Is it really Wednesday again

So far this has been one of those weeks, and many times during the week I have felt like a goose, so decided to draw one for Animal Wednesday.   I like the way this guy seems to be smiling, 

HAW everyone 

once again...happy tears in my eyes

Check out Blue Buddah's comment on the Project Linus post.

Could you just melt???? I did...

Project Linus

After making that last "Princess" quilt - and realizing that I was spending a bit too much time worrying about my own artistic sensitivities I decided to find an organization that would accept homemade quilts for kids and have just signed up for Project Linus. Two comments gave me this idea - one came from HB - who gently pointed out that the child who was receiving my quilt would love it, and from Kerstin who pointed out how much her daughter would love a princess quilt.   How scared those poor kids must be - in a hospital, feeling sick and miserable - without their comforting toys and blankies.  I hope that donating to this charity will help in a tiny way - and a new princess quilt will be started as soon as possible. 

Sometimes it takes a gentle kick to get me out of my own head - and back into the real world. Thanks friends.