Sorry to be such a downer yesterday - I'll tell you what happened.
Remember a few weeks ago I found some porn on a friends computer? I took the advice and never said anything to her, but just found out yesterday, thru tears and wailing, that she also found it. AND - she started doing some snooping and found out that her beloved husband of 15 years - as close a best friend as she ever thought she would have - has been doing more than just internet activities - he's been fooling around with at least one woman - maybe two! She read emails, and tracked some phone numbers and had figured out what was - or had been - going on. She's not vindictive and is not going to call out these women - but was one very angry and devastated woman.
It devastated me also, since their marriage is one of those that you think is "perfect". He is sensitive to her needs, but fun...seemingly devoted, supportive of her career, pitches in at home and to top it off - ain't bad looking. There is an age difference between them - he's about 10 years older than her (must be around 50) but is active, and successful. It always rocks my boat when something this dramatic happens to a close friend.
We spent hours talking and crying and I just listened. I don't know at all how to advise her, but did recommend that she take some time to get her anger under control, gave her the name of a therapist and then got mad myself, and fumed and cried all night. I still just can't believe it - I would have never thought that he would cheat on his wonderful, loving wife. (but of course, I reminded myself that I have no idea as to what goes on behind their bedroom doors - and have no intention of asking.)
She did confront him with her findings and he claims that "nothing really happened" and "don't worry about it - it meant nothing" and "it'll never happen again" etc etc, but really did not seem all that remorseful from what she said.
How can you ever trust someone who would do this to you? Was it just a fall from grace, or a lifelong habit? How can one tell?
Are all men just dogs? Any answers out there???
I certainly am glad that I wasn't the one to tell her about his internet stuff, wow, what a mess that would have been.