Friday, November 20, 2009
Posting has been tough lately
(Before you read this post, let me state here that I know how lucky and blessed I am to have what I have in my life. To be able to gripe about flying to Florida for a Thanksgiving feast with a loving family is a blessing in an of itself. I am no saint, I bitch and moan way too much...but believe me - I also count my blessings every day. That said...let the complaining begin)
These were some drawings from Thanksgiving last year - we're getting ready for this year...and I feel the same stress!
Like everyone - things are getting busy and then busier at this time of the year. I often feel overwhelmed with all of the things that need to be done, and the visits that need to be made. The holidays are the times when I wish my family lived closer instead of in Florida and California and Italy. We are never home for the holidays, unless we can persuade family to come to us. But it's so hard! Come to rainy cold New England for Thanksgiving or go to sunny Florida with the rest of the family and cousins. Not a hard choice. So we are off to Florida tomorrow for a week. I'm entitled to a little bit of bitching right? Okay then - my whine is that while I have to take vacation time to go see the family, it isn't a vacation for me in any way shape or form. We'll stay with my MIL, who is still recovering and will be pretty needy I think. She has Dr. appointments and we need to figure out why she is out of breath and so tired. And she also needs a second surgery and we don't know when that will be. Her apartment is very dark, and there is no place to escape to for any alone time. She's lonely so she talks to me. Just to me. Directly.
My niece will be at my mom's with her three year old - maybe! As of last night we didn't know if she was coming or not. So my moms house might be an escape hatch...or not. We'll see. My brother and his family will be there, which is great. Probably about 50 others also, and while I love seeing everyone - it gets overwhelming to me - everyone talks so loudly and it often becomes a competition of who can be heard over whom. And then there's the competition of who lost weight this year (not me!) and who has a new ring, or other new items, or hairstyle or other crap that I hate. I have 10 male cousins, and while their wives are mostly lovely women, they are mostly stay at home moms, with lots of bling on their hands. I can't tell you how far away from my life style is theirs. My two female cousins are more like me - we've all worked hard to make our lives, we are creative, and while none of us would refuse new jewelry - we prefer handmade, one of a kind stuff.
Here's an example of why I feel like Alice In Wonderland sometimes when talking to my family. I was complaining that I hadn't heard from one person that I sent a present to (a handmade quilt). The explanation? She's "so busy! She goes to aerobics every day, and pilates and also has to take the baby to day care, or to the nanny, so she has no time to call or drop an email". This to a woman who has a full time job, a house, a husband, responsibilities. I would love to have the time to go to aerobics every day at 9:00 am...not at 5:00 am.
Oh well, I know it sounds like sour grapes - and I have the wisdom now to stop trying to prove myself or change anyone else. I do try to enjoy things when I get there, and try like hell to enjoy my cousins, aunts and uncles. But frankly, if I could stay home - I would. And I look forward to coming home already, and I haven't even left.
No Internet at MIL's unless I steal wireless from the neighbor - but I have to go to the driveway to do that. So probably no posting for a week.
Have a good week everyone - I'll try to pop around to visit!
(just read this over and I did a good job of complaining - didn't I? Glad I got it off my chest)
Posted by Mim at 4:53 AM