Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Somewhat stuck...

...in Florida due to snow at home. I actually made the decision to change my ticket this morning when the airlines hinted that I should get a hotel room in Charlotte, NC "just in case". So got to spend another day with mom, which was good. I took a 2 mile walk to my MIL's house, and visited with her for awhile, then rode my bike back to moms. Showered and changed and off to visit my 90 year old aunt who just went into assisted living. Then dragged mom off to the yarn store, where I had a quick lesson in sock knitting. Then off to the Dr. office for mom where they told her the thing on her leg was nothing. THEN we went shopping mom and I, which is a thing that we do well together - I got a dress for a wedding in April and a something else for a BarMitzvah in October. and some other stuff that was fun like a lilac purple sweater with ruffles on the front - but classy - real classy I swear. We came home and had hamburgers and watched "Some like it Hot" on TV and then rattled thru her closet for accessories for this wedding. I found the Russian shawl that she wore when she had her Town Hall debut in 1945 - I think I'll wear that wonderful item.

My mom has always been elegant, and well dressed - tall and slender with red hair, she was always a knockout. She's an old lady now, more comfortable in sweats and sneakers but oh boy, does she still love fashion and clothes and bit and pieces. And hats since her hair is flyaway thin now - no matter what - she always manages to look well, and pulled together. I've never had the clothes talent, and had such a different figure and coloring from mom that I could rarely wear her clothes. But we always loved going shopping together, trying on stuff in the dressing room - who else will really give you an honest opinion but your mom???

Dad loved to see her dressed up and to the very end would insist on the two of them going out together dressed up as much as they could. He was hunched over and she was tripping on her high heels but off they would go together, mr and mrs elegant.

Mom and Dad always had tons of friends calling the house, but that has tapered off a bit now. Some friends have moved away, some have died, some are still couples who want to hang with other couples. This house is too big to rattle around in by only one person. It feels empty, and lonely at times. I realize that it's only a year that dad is gone, and that mom is still in the grieving mode - but I am encouraging her to call friends and get out socially. She tends to be happy with her own company - and that is great, but we all know that can lead to other more depressing behavior that could be avoided.

But all in all, this has been a good visit. There are times when it crosses my mind how ridiculous it is that we, my immediate family, live so far apart. We should all be closer together, we should all be in cold NYC living in an apartment building where we can look out for each other - but no, not us! We're the modern immigrants who left home and traveled away from home, away from family closeness (they were driving us crazy!) and then when our parents left the family home, we were devastated!

I want 10 healthy years - OK???

11 comments:

studio lolo said...

ten healthy years doesn't seem like a lot to ask for!

The visit sounds wonderful Mim. I can imagine how much Mom loves having you there. I can pisture you both out shopping and getting that sock knitting lesson!

The ruffled sweater sounds pretty. One of my promises to myself as I work to get healthy is to start dressing more girly again. Clothes used to matter so much to me before I got so big. Now I just hide in them which doesn't fool anyone.

DH must be doing better if you extended your stay. But actually you'd still have been gone another night, just in a strange place rather than with Mom. Still, it makes me feel good knowing he's better :)

XX

soulbrush said...

mim isn't it wonderful that you can still spend time with your mom like this making new memories? and i adore 'some like it hot', one of the best films ever made! you often mention you wish you could be closer, is that not at all possible to achieve? the whole world is just one global village, i know so few people that still live near to each other. sigh.

Lisa at Greenbow said...

Family being spread out all over teh world makes me sad. When I was young I always thought so what but now I see the benefits of living close to one another. It is that love connection that never fails and the support that props you up when you most need it. Have a safe trip home.

Barbara/myth maker said...

An enjoyable read. Have a safe flight home.

Lynn said...

Oh Mim, this is the sweetest heart warming post.
Your mom sounds a lot like my Aunt Mimi (Miriam)I write about *Uncle Harry and Aunt Mimi...I just joined my cousins on Sunday going through her closet to clean out clothes she no longer wears, are too big for her deminished body size, settled on a doable number of sweat pants and tops to keep; nice blouses for summer etc. I actually took home a few shirts which I will probably give to my daughter, as I am no where near stylish like Aunt Mimi is/was. They too are the "elegant couple".
It made me smile to know you can still enjoy shopping with your mom, that her mind is still sharp so she CAN live alone; and that she has her 1945 debut shawl still that you can borrow. Big smile here.
I hear you about spread out family too. What we learn to cherish as we grow older is so different than how we saw our worlds when we were launching into adult life.
Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ElizT said...

Thank you Mim, very interesting, and personal.

Debra Kay said...

Mim I hope this makes it. I think Blogger doesn't like firefox-we'll try safari and see if it works.

It's a dual edged sword-because I sometimes think and miss what I have had to give up to live near my parents. There just aren't enough years in one life to explore all the options.

I'm glad you had some good times and I'm glad you are smart enough to cherish those times. I WISH parent's were more portable-if I could I'd scoop mine up and plant us someplace where there is no snow-but they can't cope with the change at this point and I can adapt to anything-even beastly snow.

snowbird42 said...

Loved this. My Mom age 92 chooses not to speak to me.
So Ill just enjoy your comfortable tale.

天氣晴朗 said...

Knowledge is power...................................................

sukipoet said...

tears came to my eyes as i read this post. you are so kind to your dear elderly relatives. the shopping and fun with your mom, how lovely and heartwarming. glad you had this wonderful time with them all.

ArtistUnplugged said...

What a precious time with your mom, it sounds wonderful! It is good that you had that spare time too. It is a shame that you are not closer.....your mom sounds like a lovely woman. The sweater sounds great, ruffles are so in, and no, they are all over the top! Thank you for sharing your special time with your mom, I used to love to shop with my mom, we had soooo many laughs, enjoy it.