Saturday, May 15, 2010

Six Word Saturday

Don't Listen to Negative Jealous People

Alot of people at work are very stressed and hence, extremely cranky. And some are ready to squash down any thoughts of Life-after-this-job and want to take everyone else down with them. There are other people in this life who are just negative naysayers - ready to pop a hole in anyone's balloon - just to make themselves feel better.

One old friend called me and started razzing me - "haha - you'll be out in the real world now" (where does he think I've been? Heaven? with everything that's been going on in my life?) and "boy, you'll really see how tough it is out there now" and similar comments. He was gleeful in believing me to be miserable. I couldn't believe he was doing this. He went on and on until I finally got angry, told him he was a jerk and hung up the phone. He hasn't called or emailed since. And I've known him for over 30 years. Go figure.

Another guy at work saw that "Iron-Girl" thing - which I did for someone at work (inside joke, did it quickly, she loved it) and started laughing at me. "you think you can draw? Leave that to your husband! This looks like Casper the Ghost. You draw terribly". Of course that feeds into my insecurities, but I got a quick handle on my feelings and realized that he was One Of Those People - them who love to bring others down. On the plus side, it reminds me that not everyone is going to like this character or my drawing style. It's not for everyone.

What is wrong with people when they do this? It's not like you're asking for help with a business plan that is an awful, poorly funded plan. it's not like you're asking their opinions. They just want to make sure that you feel badly - and I truly DON"T like people who do this.

I don't know what will happen with any of my ideas. Maybe Miss Em will publish...and maybe she won't. But I'll have tried at least. I'm not putting all my eggs in her basket - the competition out there is very fierce to say the least.

I guess in a way it helps to get negative feedback so that I can strengthen my backbone, get ready for rejection and learn how to continue to plow forward.

I have to remember this mantra "Don't listen to Jealous, negative people". Learn something from them, but don't get discouraged.

I'll keep repeating that to myself.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!!!

Post Scriptum:

Let me tell you something on the positive side - I have a dear friend (she knows who she is!) who is honest without being hurtful (ever!), fair, truthful, and loving. She is very creative in so many ways, an unbelievable scrapbooker even before scrapbooking was popular. She can make a house into a home in 5 minutes, she has that talent. She is also very down to earth, practical and straightforward. We've also been friends for about or over 30 years, and she knows me inside out. I told her about my comic book class and her comment to me was "Miss Em is darling, it would be great to do something with her". (i might be paraphrasing a bit, but the "darling" part was there). That encouragement meant more to me than any negative comment could make me feel bad. Thanks Grapes!!!


kj said...

you are on a path, mim.

the examples you are describing are downright mean. you do not deserve or need that in your life no matter what you do or don't do. i am glad you know that.

and mim, hold on tight to ms. em and your excitement. BECAUSE IT HAS ROOTS! IT IS SO GOOD! you don't have to agree to succeed; just to try. but i tell you,mim, and i don't say this lightly, i think this path is mindblowing right and i think you WILL SYNDICATE!!! I DO!!

i'm sorry about your friend of 30 years. he must have reasons to be bitter and they are not about you.

much love to you on this fine weekend,


sukipoet said...

such comments come from the speaker's own disappointments, sourness, lack of vision. I too have often wondered why people come on like this, unsolicited comments of such negativity. I think they dont realize how hurtful words like that can be. This is most likely how they talk to themselves whenever they come up with a fun, creative idea. If you tape recorded them speaking thusly they would be shocked. they dont hear themselves.

That's too bad about yr friend of 30 years. I have observed in my life that, some of those long term friends are friends I chose when I was a different person myself. when I was "willing" to put up with such things and/or in a state where i didnt step back and observe how harmful such words were. thirty years is a long time and lots of inner changes can occur. Maybe this guy was always sort of negative but now, you are a different you and no longer willing to listen to such things.

I also have wondered if such negative commenting is a form of bullying. much in the news nowadays this bullying. of course, with in every bully is a whimp.

anyway, glad you believe in you, as do we out here too. Treat yourself to something special this weekend. you deserve it.

studio lolo said...

Wow Mim. This really hurts to read this. KJ and Suki are so right with everything they said.

I'm shocked as hell at how mean people can be. What was the point of any of this? And you are one of the nicest people on the planet.
Ask yourself if you hadn't been friends with that guy for 30 years, would you honestly choose him as a friend today? (Not based on how he just acted.) We've been reanalyzing friendships since we've moved back.

I think your art is fabulous! I love Ms. Em and I love your drawing style. And if you haven't been in the real world all this time, who has? You've been balancing a tough job and many family crises (sp?) for a couple of years. Let's see the naysayers stand up to those challenges!
I'm really pissed off.

Stay true to yourself Mim. You have adoring fans and loyal friends. Let the others wallow in their own miseries. Hold your head high and be proud of all you do.
Stay fearless and hopeful because I believe your future is going to be bright!

I just don't know what else to say other than I totally believe in your talent and your spirit and I love you.

So there.

And think about this. DH would not have encouraged you if he thought you had no talent. He knows what a gem you are. He knew it all along.

Please keep drawing and loving what you do. Keep that wicked passion ;)


Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Wow.. Why didn't they just throw you on the ground and stomp on you while they were at it. It's no wonder that some kids become bully's in school years. They learn it from their parents & they go on to teach it to their kids. My Moto is.. With friends like that who needs enemy's? So glad you stuck up for yourself. Your work is charming and fun and very appealing to a large number of people. I would rethink these so called Friends.

Robin said...

Off to do my volunteer "work" this morning - but I read your post and HAD to comment before I left.

I learned this hard lesson last year.... people I had known for over 10 years and loved and trusted - suddenly turned cruel and thoughtless. (And I'm not referring to my Ex...) It was a blow on top of the many I suffered that year.... but I think Suki is right - sometimes when you "choose" those friends from long ago, you are a different person - and so are they. Some people do behave oddly when another is "down"....who knows why: jealousy, an inherent sense of cruelty.... I don't know - but, I do know that you don't need these people in your life at the best of times.

You are a wonderful person - your soul shines through every post, every photo, every drawing. Miss Em is GRRREAT! I hope you will believe in you....and your talent.
None of us who have commented are prone to giving "idle flattery"...

We believe in you.


♥ Robin ♥

Mim said...

Thanks all - you are all so wonderful! I'm going to add a post script with a comment from someone who means alot to me, and who's opinion I really trust.

Lori ann said...

people who are hurtful have sadness in them that have nothing to do with you.

you are a sweetie, i could feel that right when i first came here. and i LOVE your drawings. LOVE them. i feel like you sometimes, thinking who will like what i do other than me. then i know its not my business what other people think and it's not my job to please them either. keep doing what you love, i think then you can't go wrong!

Lynn said...

Funny that you call your GOOD friend "Grapes", as the BAD "friends" and I use that word loosely here, are certainly SOUR GRAPES!

They must be very unhappy with themselves to need to toss negatives at others so freely.

I think in my very short time in the ART Community/world I have learned much. No two people see the same art the same way. Things I wouldn't dream of hanging in my home SELL and things I think are terrific sometimes don't. (fill in sell, win prizes, get appreciated, shown, published, etc.)

It's a crap shoot. And I will not let the turkeys get me down. True that a little encouragment goes a long, long way. And I have come to depend on my blog friends, and personal friends, and some family members to keep me busy making my art by way of their encouragement.
But I won't let the nay sayers sway me away from trying, not now, not ever! Because I know there is someone out there who is going to like something that I do.

And there are many who already love Ms Em! No doubt about it.

How dare they discredit her/you in anyway and how dare they be so mean spirited about your job situation. SHAME ON THEM!!! Who DO they think they ARE? Well, I am here to tell them they AREN'T not even close.

studio lolo said...

I love the postscript!! yay grapes!! Now THAT is a true friend who will never be threatened by your successes and will never kick you when you're down ;)


marianne said...

I am amazed about all these negative people! too bad they have to focus their own frustration at you....
But be glad these are not your friends you are talking about.
Don't let them bring you in doubt for even one second!
You know you have more people here believing in you and please never stop believing yourself!

ElizT said...

Incredible, to be so nasty.

Katiejane said...

Mim, who ARE these horrble people who say such awful things to you?? They are certainly not your friends. I can't imagine saying these things to someone's face. You're right, they are simply jealous. Please do not let go of your dream. Hold it in your heart, caress it and make it real. Even if you end up working somewhere else, I hope you still follow this dream. It's a good one.

Robin said...

A lovely postscript! And, I KNOW you believe all of us!

Love you,

♥ Robin ♥

PAK ART said...

You are an incredibly talented person. I have loved Miss Em from the moment I first started following your blog. My favorite is still the mammogram and I think it has to do with humanizing the thing we all dread - you've made it humorous and yet still a fragile tough thing we women have to do. I too have someone who will say negative things to me sometimes....I know her history and it's very sad. She sometimes puts others down to make herself feel better. I know she has a good heart though and I forgive her occasional meanness because I know she has so many hurts from the past. It's not right what she does, but I understand her and try to show her love regardless. She is a friend worth keeping....not all are. Dump those that aren't worthy!

Baino said...

If you can't say anything nice,then keep your thoughts to yourself! Put it down to pressure but there's no need for negativity. You are creative and fun so just ignore the naysayers.