Did you ever find yourself in a situation where there is so much going on but you think you can handle it all? I mean really - what are the options? Fall down and cry? Refuse to face facts? In my life - for some ungodly reason - things have been piling up to the point where even pleasurable things seem overwhelming. But in the past day or so, maybe some things are calming down a tiny bit.
1) MIL isn't losing weight anymore. She had basically stopped eating and lost 20 lbs in about two weeks. My brother told her to eat ANYTHING that she liked...so she took him at his word and has been eating ice-cream, and Italian pastries and at least 3 ensure a day. She feels a tiny bit better and at least isn't losing weight. 1 tiny battle won.
2) One of my aunts had open heart surgery the other day and so far has come thru it just fine. It's a load off my mind since my uncle is totally emotionally dependent on her (who isn't after 55 years!) And it's a load off my mom's mind who was totally worried about her - which made me worried about mom.
3) Another aunt, mom's sister, is in a nursing home (but she LOVES it - says' she's never been happier ) but seemed to suddenly go almost completely gaga. Couldn't feed herself, remember much - the works. So sad for mom...this is her big sister. We think it might have been a medication that she is on, so that dosage has been cut in half and lo and behold - mom had an intelligent conversation with her on the phone yesterday. Made her feel good and is a bit of a relief to all.
3) I still don't know about work, but have at least started working on my resume and have sent it to a few people for review. (gotta send it to you grapes....monday!!)
Writing down your worries always helps doesn't it? I've just looked at this list and thought "hmm...that's really not such a long list". But as we all know, it's not the actual things that make one worry so much as the potential for big changes. Old people dying - while natural - is a big change and the shift of family ownership to the next generation while inevitable is not easy. Some cousins have taken on the ownership of certain holidays, but it's not all solidified yet. We've all talked about how to stay connected when the old folks are all gone, and I have complete certainly that we'll figure out a family vacation or weekend away or something. A job loss is just that - a job loss. But it's also such a change in routine, or not seeing the same people every day who know you so well (at least parts of you). Thinking about starting a new job is overwhelming - and I'm going to try to take the advice of many and hold off looking for a few months to settle my head down.
So sports fans - that's whats been keeping me up at night...or sleeping with clenched teeth. My nephews and their college applications are a great distraction. Putting Miss Em into comic form is a great distraction (about 15 - 18 pages drawn, inked and colored so far! - gotta have at least 48 for a trade journal publication!)
I feel so much better having written all this that I WILL show some artwork from last nights class. And you thought you were going to get off easy.....
First attempt. Instructor liked this the best but I think it's a bit wonky around the eyes.
Different technique used here. Actually all night we were supposed to be "drawing" with our eraser. I struggled with that - ALOT.
Last one and one that I liked the best - simply because it wasn't a 3/4 view. Full face on - so relaxing to see both eyes.
On another topic - I had made some paper mache bowls from tissue paper. People loved them at Yart, but they don't appear very practical so didn't sell. Well, my BFF and I were in Michaels a few weeks ago and we found these really nice tall battery operated tea lights so I bought a few for these tissue paper bowls. They work beautifully as shown by these pictures - the first one with a flash and the second one without. Whadda ya think???
Thanks for letting me vent. I'm ready to face the day...
11 comments:
Oh Mim, so sorry for all these changes and tensions in your family and among your beloved elders. Im glad you "vented." To me, blogs are a great place to express feeings and concerns about our lives.
It is good to know that you continue to "vent" also via your abundant creativity. I love the battery tea lights in the bowls. Brilliant idea. And your drawings. I esp like the last two eraser drawings. The second of the three drawings is ethereal and haunting really. The sense of light that the last two drawings convey is wonderful.
Big hugs to you Mim. Blessings, Suki
Vent away girlfriend! It's only one of the ways we're all here for each other.
Our family holidays have really changed over the years as the kids have grown and had their own families. I miss the board games after Thanksgiving dinner. Now I don't look forward to the holidays at all.
I'm glad MIL is maintaining her weight and that the open heart surgery went well with your Aunt. Medication~wow, it can really mess us up or help greatly! I hope that was the answer to the other Aunt's goofiness.
I know what you mean about your job and routine. Even though I was self-employed, I'm floundering without work. I feel usuless and quite frankly scared of what no income means. It's been tough.
As for the wonky eyes in the top drawing, I love them. They're hauntingly expressive!
I admire you Mim. You plow forward no matter what and you're always trying new things.
Keep plowing!
xoxo
Lo♥
I'm so sorry that you have had such trouble with your mom and her sisters. It's so difficult to know how to do the right thing for them all. I'm glad you vented...writing problems down always helps me. They just never seem so huge after that.
I have to say I love the first drawing...it looks medieval to me. Well done, Mim!!
Venting is a good thing and I can so relate after all the problems with my email hacking, Facebook hacking and then my niece dying. Venting really does help. And, things do have a way of helping out.
I too love your last sketch. Art also helps us vent.
Hugs
I agree with everyone here, it's good for the soul to let it out, and your right, things seem more manageable when shared.
I'm sure you will find that way to keep the family traditions, we've had to do the same thing (before being ready!, but i wonder if we ever really are).
Your family is lucky to have you Mim.
xoxo
lori
p.s. beautiful drawings (eraserings) and baskets (reminds me of the ocean, seaweed...)
Thanks for sharing all the family info; I feel a friendship here and appreciate being brought up to date on how your family is doing. (hope that is not too much of an assumption on my part, just how I feel). Great that your DH told MIL to eat what she likes and she is. And that it's helping some.
I never heard anyone rave about the nursing home move before, so glad your aunt is happy in hers...I watched my aunt Mimi look on deaths door with being over medicated and come right back to life when they took her off it! It was amazing. Hoping your aunt who had the open heart surgery has an easy and complete healing.
Yes, the whole mishagas changes when the elders get old and infirm and finally die. It knocks us next generation right into line to be next. I find it daunting and a bit scary. But for the most part I put it out of my mind and just try to live life to the fullest while I can. And yes, it changes holiday celebrations. Although ours changed long ago as families grew and no one person had a house large enough to hold us all anymore. Families split off to hold their own celebrations with kids and grandkids.
Looking at losing your job on top of all these other concerns can't be fun. I just wish you well on this next venture. Transitions and changes can be such challenges!
Now to your art. I am fascinated by the eraser drawing. I see how it brings out shine/light/shading to your faces. Really interesting. I guess I did a tiny bit of this in one class, but these are so well done. I like them all.
The light is great in the bowls. Won't get too hot as to burn them will it? Me worrying.
Hugs. Hope this isn't too long.
One of the many wonderful things about our "Blogging Family" IS that we can vent to each other....
It is cathartic to let it out....and all of us, at one time or another, have felt the need to do just that.
You have stated a reality that many of us are now just beginning to experience....and with the Holidays coming up and the weather beccoming colder, it seems we become more emotionally fragile.
And, of course, there's the "job thing"....you KNOW I know all of those emotions you are feeling....it is not easy - it's a huge life pattern change....but, you WILL get through it....I have been swimming through those murky waters for 18 months now....but, I haven't "drowned"....
You have many options - your artistic talent being such a strong one! I love Miss Em - and having read one entire book about her - know she will be a "hit" with the public! These new drawings are full of emotion - they all evoke a response - and that's what art should do.
And....as the proud owner of one of your magical bowls....the battery idea is great....but for me, having the glow of a tea candle within the bowl, seeing the flicker reflect against the stars inside and the lilac colour outside, plus smelling the wax is ideal! (Must be the Catholic in me - loving candle wax - ha-ha!)
Sending you love and strength,
Always,
♥ Robin ♥
I find venting good. Other wise I think we would explode. :) Once I vent or even write it down on paper I feel much better. Love the last drawing. I am excited for you doing MS EM and how far you have come. Look forward to seeing it eventually.
Oh Mim, sometimes life feels so overwhelming. I know. I've felt that way all summer. Let's look for the silver lining together.
I know there is one, it just seems very transparent.
I see that you are trying to focus on the positive aspects of your problems and that is good. Things will eventually work themselves out no matter what we do, so try to keep your chin up.
I LOVE these little bowls with the tea lights in them! What a fantastic and creative way to whow off their beauty and make them useful. Good thinking!
Your portrait art is really coming along. You learn so fast and are really very good.
I am glad you feel better. It is good to get it all on paper (?)as whatever is bothering us seems to be deminished with the stroke of a key. Your art should make you feel much better. You are doing so many good things. Big ((Hugs))
I've just read through all of the lovely comments and there really isn't much more that I can add except to give you a big hug and make a cup of tea.
take care
best wishes to keep on enjoying your creativity
Robyn
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