Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thursday morning - thoughts on comments

I've been reading a few blogs this morning and also reading some comments that others post.  For the most part, these comments are honest, straightforward and supportive.  My thought about comments is to look closely at what that person has posted - what are they really saying?  Are they sad, or happy, or "giggling"?  Are they looking for an answer to a question, or just opening themselves up and looking for support or advice from friends?  

Most people comment well, and appear to be honest straightforward folks.  There are some spammers, but they don't seem to be overwhelming. 

Some people comment as tho' they are put on this earth to set everyone else straight.  Their philosophy in life appears to be rather hateful, and very opinionated and damn...they want everyone else to be a cynical as they are. 

I'd like to hear from people - do you mind seeing negative comments along with the usual positive comments?  

I'm just askin'....

16 comments:

Mary Richmond said...

ooh--not a fan of negative comments! why would one bother? if you disagree or don't like...just move on! no need to be hateful or nasty or mean.....yuck!

sukipoet said...

I havent received any negative comments that I can recall. I have sometimes gotten advice but usually I have asked for it and I appreciate it . To me, it is interesting to hear other people's pOV.

Sometimes when I read a post,I find an area that I see in a different way and I always wonder if I should comment with my alternative perspective. Sometimes I dont. Sometimes I do.

I hope I have never said anything downright negative. What I try to do now is say to myself what parts of this post resonate with me. How can I confirm what this person is saying, even if maybe I dont see the world that way. Interesting questions you pose.

I do think it is very inspiring to get positive comments. And that is what I want to do in the world, inspire others and be inspired.

Sarah said...

Do I mind - interesting question. I don't like it, but the www is a public forum so I don't expect to agree with or like everything I find within it. I think it's up to the blog owner - if they choose to display negative comments that's their choice , but I don't have to read them if I don't want to - so I don't. Unless I feel like having an argument with the person in my imagination of course...:-p

On my own blog I'd display negative comments, but anything that was attacking or attempting to shame I would simply delete.

Forever Young said...

no, i hate negativity and totally agree with mary on this one 'if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all'!
i think i know who you mean who writes cynical and nasty things, and i just delete his comments, so he doesn't visit my blog any more.
i like to think that people who comment on mine are genuine and really mean the nice things they say, HOWEVER i also like to think that i am doing my blog FOR ME and so it shouldn't really matter...
oh hell, what am i really saying?
i have nominated you for a new award --- go take a peek----

Debra Kay said...

I have deleted comments that were offensive to me or I felt would offend my readers. Other than that, I respond if I feel like I want to, don't if I don't. I think continual abrasive tone is just really a cry for attention and if it directed at someone I like it bothers me more than if it is directed at me.

Much of the venom is directed towards other males and it's the cyber form of chest beating-that cracks me up.

I've never let it stop me from exposing my true feelings or softer side, and if it were to start making me want to do that, I would delete all posts until the person went away.

If I'm having a rough day anyway, I don't read comments from people I know are generally negative, and if I'm looking for a fight, I go straight to them.

ElizT said...

I like to think I could take advice...Who knows!
Have defended someone else a couple of times.

Fern said...

Funny, Mim I was just thinking about this.

I was thinking about how sometimes I have something to say and say it, and sometimes I have something to say and I don't.

And what I was considering was that I hope when I visit a blog and do not comment that the blog keeper does not think my non-comment meant I had nothing positive to say.

Because sometimes I feel quiet. Tired of my own words.

And despite my bouts of silence I usually am smiling...sometimes even giggling.

ElizT said...

Yes, me too.

averyopenbook said...

Bring em on, the good, bad and indifferent :)
Thanks for all of your support this week
Judy

human being said...

wow
what an insightful post... and the comments, too.
sure we do not feel much comfortable when reading negative comments...
but if we can stand the first shock wave which is short... we come to this point that... the negative comment is mostly about its writer than us...

i learn much from them... first it is good to see some people cannot think like us... so you try to find new ways to convey your point... and also we can practice patience..

second you come to know about that person and his inner feelings which s/he is hiding behind his negativity...
many of them are just seeking attention and love...

if a person really wants to teach us something different, s/he never express it negatively or rudely...

i have disagreed with many of my friends but i did it as positively as i could...

so we can disagree and be positive at the same time...

and what a blessing i have such positive friends in the blogland... i owe much to them...

ElizT said...

Have just remembered being stupidly sensitive about a comment [unrelated to illustration] during a conversation on someone else's blog. You can't do a lot of qualifying such as 'What I really meant was...' And I had expected to be ironclad by this age.

Lynn said...

I can handle negative or alternative or different than views, but I do not like nasty, vile, mysogenistic, stupid, ugly, derogative comments. I personally delete those from my blog. I actually only got one like that and HE is not welcomed back in. I screen my comments.
I skip HIS in other's bloggers comment boxes too. As they are a waste of MY time and sensibilities.
Thanks for the opportunity to say THAT! Whew. I needed that.

m. heart said...

good question. on my own blog, everyone who has left a comment has been so generous and supportive, and i am beyond thankful for that. i have plenty of negative, difficult things to deal with in "real life" and i created my blog as a bit of an escape from them - a creative refuge.

i've been involved with blogs where there is negativity in comments, and have found it both emotionally draining and creatively stifling.

best to be positive - as human being pointed out, the negativity is usually just a cry for attention, or the commenter's own self-doubt causing them to lash out.

Forever Young said...

lynn's comment is very interesting because i think i know who HE is, i have had his terrible comments too, and i just delete them asap. we are not on this world to hurt others!!!

studio lolo said...

I think I just saw the comment you were referring to (on another friend's blog.) If I'm right, I just wrote "amen sister!"on her blog. Anyway, once I commented on something HE wrote and he "ripped me a new one" as they say. I think I'm a pretty level-headed, kind person most times. I try to leave nice comments for everyone I take the time for, otherwise why bother? There's enough negativity out there. Just turn on the TV! I love to leave encouraging comments on blogs that have no comments at all. That breaks my heart to see that someone took the time to participate in something and gets overlooked time after time. Anyway, I'm getting off track...sorry! This person seems to go on tirades about EVERYTHING! I agree that he's just crying for attention, or demanding it. But if I ever get negative comments I too delete them permanantly so there's nary a trace of them! Just like I did with his :) For the most part, nice people find nice people. Thank goodness that's been the most part of my experience since I've begun this blogging journey.
There are a couple of people who dropped me like a hot potato and I have no idea why. I comment on their posts once in a while as a test but I get nothing back. And so I have to let it go, but still I wonder what the heck I did. Hopefully, nothing and it's just 'their stuff'.

Lynn said...

Nice to be validated here.
As for the "cry for attention", I help people in my profession every day who need this kind of help, but HE is not my client, and when I am on MY TIME I do not wish to do therapy. Nor do I feel it my human obligation to HELP everyone in need of attention especially when the way they are trying to get it is so caustic to others.
Sorry, my kindness ends there.
Even talking about it here leaves a bad taste in my mouth, a tightening in my gut.
Now back to happy things and positive people, or positive people with sometimes unhappy things but a nice way of expressing them. ;-)