Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Haiku



I left this note tonight when I went out. Got home and reread it, and it looked like a Haiku to me.  What do you think?

13 comments:

ElizT said...

Yes. I like the ambiguity; it could hold a command, and Walmart could be code for your name. In fact the whole thing could be in code.

Debra Kay said...

It gives me a warm feeling, because it conveys so much more than just logistics. I see two people who care about each other, simply touching base.

I am ok, I ate
Won't be here when you arrive home
Bargain prices call!

Mim said...

Eliz - you're right - is was a code..and it appears that Deb has decoded the overall message.

sukipoet said...

Cute post and comments too. Yes, methinks you are the next Basho.

Forever Young said...

who ate my spaghetti?
who are you?
where?

ElizT said...

Or,
'I have burgled your house,
will be back for the replaced electronics,
I am everywhere'

ElizT said...

Or,
Been at the leftovers again?
Get yourself back here!
I thought I told you to go to Walmart!

Teri C said...

Some really fun poems here, none of which are haiku (sorry to be a stick in the mud). But Haiku is usually set out as 5-7-5 syllables for the three lines.

I ate spaghetti
Know that I will be right back
Right after Walmart

:)

Please don't shoot me now
It is part of the teaching
To the haiku poets

:) :)

Mim said...

You all are too funny! this is great!

I think I liked the progression of 4 - 3 - 2 as opposed to the traditional 5-7-5, even tho' it was totally unintentional.

Debra Kay said...

Omigod, I was going to call foul, but I counted my syllables and was off one in the middle line. eeek.

Fern said...

blog post supreme.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Chuckling over all the comments.
Sounds like Walmart is going to be back soon to eat more spagetti.
You will need a pile more to fill it's belly. :)

Prozac said...

It reminds me of that fantastic William Carlos Williams poem which also started out as something pinned to a fridge door:

"This Is Just To Say"


I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox



and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast



Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold