Wednesday, September 8, 2010

No Animals on this Wednesday

Boo-hoo, boo-hoo sob sob sob - no time for animals today, I even forgot it was Wednesday. But it is and I'm in Florida driving from doctor to doctor and it's even my anniversary and no hubby with me.
BOO HOO!!! (I am imitating Emily so I guess that is my animal for this wednesday - ok KJ?)

On the funny side, yes, I am driving my MIL and her aide around to Doctor appointments and it is again a test of my patience. Like when I am in a parking lot and heading for a spot to park when MIL points out same spot and says "there's one!" (like I wasn't just driving right towards it!). Or as I get ready to drive off somewhere, and am going thru my own driving ritual (turn on car, put on seat belt, foot on brake, take off parking break) and she leans over in step two and TAKES OFF THE PARKING BRAKE.

Why would someone take off the parking brake when they aren't driving the car???

The day is filled with little tiny annoyances like that, and I am trying to be saintly and laugh it off. I did say (very nicely) that if she took off the parking brake again, or did anything like that - I was getting out of the car and going home. So there.

MIL is doing OK, but the whole process is somewhat depressing. She wants to try chemo, even tho the oncologist says that it's just buying time and will not cure anything. We have an appointment with another oncologist just because she wants someone with a more positive attitude. I actually understand her logic there, but....

I keep telling her that the positive attitude has to be in her own head, but understand how difficult that can be when a professional tells you the bald facts. I mentioned to her that perhaps she shouldn't ask them "how much time do I have" because they will answer with the truth.

Oy, oy, oy....

I am heading to a cousins house tonight to be with about 13 cousins for a New Year's dinner. I'm so looking forward to it, I can't tell you how much.

So, to all of you who celebrate these holidays' - Have a Happy and Healthy New Year. And to all of you who don't celebrate this holiday - Have a Happy and Healthy New Year!!!


Robin said...

Dearest Mim,
Oh, this has to be really hard for is hard to be "the rock" of strength and comfort to someone undergoing so much. I think your MIL's wanting to find someone t give her hope IS a positive sign... she wants to live - she wants to fight...and that can work wonders.

As for you, keep "cool"
m' are one EXCEPTIONALLY "Cool" Lady.... you can do this. I am glad you will be among family tonight - and celebrating a New Year...have a glass of wine (or two)..Mazel Tov!

Lastly, your "impression" of Emily Wrabbit is "spot on" and DOES qualify for an Animal Wednesday Post! I did do a real one enjoy! I hope it makes you smile.

Love and STRENGTH,

♥ Robin ♥

Lori ann said...

Oh dear. Your patience is to be admired. Have you brought a little something for yourself to do while you wait? knitting soothes me and is my security blanket.
How difficult for your mil. :(
Good luck there. And Happy New year!

Lynn said...

I have enough animals in my post to day to share with you. And besides you do have that black dog in your banner! You're IN. HAW!

Now poor MIL. "How long do I have?"
"Buying Time"...Putting on the breaks!!! Of course she wants to pull on the hand break herself. How symbolic is that for wanting to stop this dying process!!!! Of course she wants someone to tell her that she positively is not going to die (right dying...) and how sad that they cannot tell her that untruth.
My heart cries for her. This lady is not ready to go.

AND I understand how frustrating it all is for you to be with her while she tries to CONTROL her life. (and yours in the process).

No easy solutions here.

Go enjoy the big dinner surrounded by family, love, you sure need that support.

Happy Anniversary. I hope you get a sweet phone converstation with DH.
and a promise to make up for this later on.

Shana Tova...not so sweet right now, but hopefully sweeter in the future.

Hugs from me.

Teri C said...

You are certainly getting your practice in patience. I do understand where she is coming from and admire you for managing!

Happy Anniversary.


Lisa at Greenbow said...

Lucky you getting to celebrate New Years twice. You need a little extra celebration right now. Sometimes you just gotta grin and bear it. You are a better woman than I am. I don't know if I would go help my MIL like you are doing. It would certainly be a challenge. Happy New Year and HAW.

sukipoet said...

this is so sad. oh dear. so hard to know really if a person should get chemo in the face of a dire prediction or not. My ex got the chemo but he died soon anyway and we around him felt he might have done better to not go through the chemo nausea etc. But it is up to each individual. And so hard to make up ones own mind when the "pros" are talking to us. They do not know everything, and can be wrong.

Meanwhile I understand your aggravation with MIL and her MILness. Wanting to participate in activities she can no longer do, even if it is just taking off the break as she has done for years.

I used to help an ill person by driving her around where she needed to go and she once corrected my parking place choice and I got so angry. Weird really. Yet maybe it has to do with I'm driving, let me drive. Arent I being patient enough already?

Hope the dinner party was soul reviving and spirit reviving for you. Blessings and hugs, suki

ArtistUnplugged said...

Difficult position to be in and your virtue is being tested! Sadly, sounds as if the treatment will not do too much and what it may extend may be misery to get there. Though the one in the position to receive it has to be the one to say no to it. Hang in there, thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Cris, Artist in Oregon said...

Happy Anniversary. I think your gift to your hubby is giving his Mother your time to hold her hand right now. We all need hand holding now and then. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. There are better times for you down the road.

Anonymous said...

not fair. that mean blogger chomped on my comment!!!

mim, it's me, emily. you did a good job with your BOOHOO and if you need to you can add a BOOHOOBOOHOOHOOHOOBOOHOO and you should if it will help you feel better.

kj says you are a saint.

maybe you should just leave the brake off and see what happens.

your friend,

kj said...

mim, this is a sad post written by a thoughtful and caring person....

i can understand your MIL wanting chemo. it's hard to just 'accept' without trying. she's not ready yet but she knows she's on the road to what may come. my Dad tried and participated but i think he was doing the acceptance part within himself.

please don't expect too saintly patience. i know exactly how you feel and you made me laugh.

love love

studio lolo said...

I thought for sure I was your first commenter but there's nothing here from me. Isn't that just the strangest darn thing!

You're a good soul Mim. I think you're right where you're supposed to be at this very moment.
I love what Lynn said about the brake...HELLOOOO...she wants to put the brake on moving forward. Shit (sorry) who wouldn't?

Happy Anniversary to you and Mr. T.
I know he adores you (and he should) and I know you adore him.
How special is it that you can be there for his mom while he's at home?
It's all part of the process my friend. And if it were me with that diagnosis I'd be reaching for more than the emergency break.
Think about it.
It just freaks me out knowing just how close I am. How close we all are.

This is it. This is all we have.

I'm glad you're a part of it, no matter how little we interact, it's good.


AtelierBrigitte said...

It must be hard to be the strong one.

I hope you've had a wonderful dinner with your cousins and that you and your hubby will celebrate your anniversary some other time.

Big hug from me.

soulbrush said...

what a trial. what a trial. you are an angel mim. will be off radar for a while, thanks for all the visits and comments. lotsa love. later gater

Katiejane said...

Didn't anyone ever tell you that MILs are control freaks? (Except mine, that is.) :)
Sounds like you are dealing with things as best as you can. Humor is the best medicine.

PAK ART said...

I wonder if Blogger was having problems the other day. I posted a comment here I'm sure, but don't see it. Either that or I didn't save properly. My heart goes out to you - I know all about those little annoyances and I can only tell you that she isn't doing it to annoy you, it's just who she is and she's in an unhappy and scary place right now. You are a great DIL to help her out so.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

Oh! They say patience is a virtue, and I for one am short on it but when I am, I can be pleased with be it with you. And how much this means to DH is beyond words...Your love will carry you through this.