Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Advice

I have a dilemma, advice needed.

I was at a friends house last night using her husbands computer (mine is down). You know how things pop up automatically when you start typing in the address panel? Well, some pretty nasty porn sites started popping up.

I was shocked. I don't know what to do. Is this guy a sleeze or not? On the surface, he is fine, but I was uncomfortable with what I was seeing.

HELP!

9 comments:

Fern said...

If it was a kid, I'd say something, but the guy is an adult...

Do you think his wife would want to know? Would she care?

Could you tell him what you saw and that it made you uncomfortable?

Debra Kay said...

I'd just sort of file it away for future reference. If she doesn't know, she might not want to know, and if she does know, she might not want you to know. It may be appropriate to bring it up later, but for now, I wouldn't.

I hate using other people's computers for that very reason. Sometimes information just flies out at you.

Forever Young said...

i agree with debra completely, let it be for now,unless this is so important for your friend to know...but think carefully before you do this, after all it may hurt her more than you ever know. i do believe that we do NOT know what happens behind closed doors, and you may not have the full picture of their life together, leave it be.

Mim said...

I agree with all of you - the more I thought about it I realized that they are grownups! I guess it was just the initial shock, I'm such a prude! Plus I always use my work computer, and if I went to one of those sites, I'd get my knuckles rapped.
Thanks friends - I've calmed down.

caseytoussaint said...

I think you made the right decision - I understand you though, I'd look at the guy a little differently from now on. I guess I'm a prude too...

Michele said...

You are not a prude Mim. I used to be married to a porn freak man. I found out before we got married because I happened upon his drawer of porn videos .. this was a long time ago. He threw them all out before we got married so I thought it was over but later found out he computer was full of porn. Needless to say I'm not married to him anymore but I guess my point is that your friend will find out eventually if she doesn't already know and she can decide what to do with it. No need for you to get in the middle of it.

studio lolo said...

Egads...this very thing almost cost me a divorce! Good choice in leaving it alone. If she doesn't already know, she will. And she may also be in denial. Or she may simply think it's harmless and at least it keeps him away from her ;)

Loretta said...

If it popped up for you, Mim, then it's popped up for the wife. I wouldn't say anything either, but I sure would keep my eyes and ears sharp in terms of their relationship.

Such a sleazy thing, but having endured enough shock jock radio shows on the morning commute, it seems to be a pretty regular guy thing.

So long as it's not my guy!

ksklein said...

For me porn is a very two-sided theme. I´m no fan of them, but on the other hand I think it is a natural thing for guys to be curious about this and I think (but don´t know) that most of them have a look at them from time to time.
What I wouldn´t like though is if porn becomes a substitue for the "real" realtionship between two people. Though I wouldn´t tell your friend because it is a very personal matter. And it is different from cheating in real life IMO.
By the way here in Germany everybody has easy access to porn sites (Only the hard stuff has an age-restriction), so a few years ago when I used to visit normal sites, often I had some porn sites popping up. And they appear in the address bar too. So maybe it wasn´t even intentionally.
Now that I use a mac (and block pop-up windows too) this problem has been reduced a lot.

I would have difficulties deciding whether I would reveal a cheating husband/wife in real life (not porn) too, but personally I would want my friend to tell me.
But I think a virtual thing is a virtual thing, even if it is not a nice thing, it is not real.