Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Letting Go

I was sad when I heard that Suki's mom had died, and sad when I heard that Debra Kay's Uncle John had passed on...sad and nervous too.

I am, in many ways a superstitious person. My Grandma taught me to be nervous about things because as she said "it was better to expect the worst and hope for the best". Grandma brought me up to be very superstitious. Salt over the left shoulder and all that.

So when I heard of two deaths that affected people that mattered to me - my first thought was "bad things come in threes" and I waited for the other shoe to drop.

And it did. Today we found out that a friend from work lost his battle with brain cancer. 44 years old - and he's been fighting this for 10 years. He was a co-worker and a friend and I'm so sad for his family - I fought back tears all day at work (and let them come at times, as all were doing).

One of the reasons I love the people that I work with is that we all never questioned what our roles would be when he got sick again two years ago. Can't drive? Fine - we'll pick you up. Can't travel for work? Fine, we'll figure out how to conference you in. And as things got worse and he had to stay home, everyone took turns cooking for the family. We all chipped in and hired a lawn service to come for the summer and do the weekly cleaning and fall cleanup. It wasn't a big deal, it was just what needed to be done. We're still going to pay for the snow-plowing for the winter - his wife and 6 year old daughter have enough to worry about without worrying about snow.

He has been released from what had come to be an uncomfortable existence - an active guy debilitated by an awful cancer. He did everything to try to overcome this - experimental treatments (which worked for a year or so) and was ready to sign up for another study when things took a turn for the worse last week. It's hard to believe he's gone

Miss Em is letting go - the Red Balloon is for Suki's mom...the Yellow for Uncle John and the blue for my friend Paul.

Go and kiss your families and loved ones.


MuseSwings said...

How beautiful your tribute is! Letting go, but remembering.

Teri C said...

Mim, this is absolutely gorgeous. The sentiment, the art, just gorgeous!

I am still waiting to hear what my third one will be.

ElizT said...

very sad. And on a low day in which I was already counting my family and friends as blessings.

Teri said...

I will keep those balloons and thoughts of letting go, whilst I remember...knowing that I have friends who feel the same way helps. I can remember when Mike died, I had friends that did things like you talk about, without asking, just doing. I would have never had made it thru those first few months without them.

I remember reading in one of the several books on grieving that friends gave to me, that just doing without waiting to be asked, was the key. Instead of saying "Let me know if I can walk your dog", just say I'll be over on Sunday to walk your pup...sort of like the yard cleanup, the driving, the snow plowing.

Your friend was fortunate to have you as a friend, as well you being blessed to be in their circle, too.I send my thoughts your way.


kj said...

all i can say is i am so glad to get to know you, mim.

Lynn said...



Mim said...

thanks all - life can be tough can't it?

Teri - according to my strange and superstitious philosophy - you're safe now. You know me, and I was the third person you "know" who has had someone close to them pass away. But cross your fingers anyway.

sukipoet said...

This post gives me chills. The drawing is beautiful. The words too. I am so sorry about Jim, but must say how beautiful are the people you work with to be so caring and giving to him and his family. Blessed be, suki

sukipoet said...

I meant Paul. I like those comment things where you can see the original post so as to respond correctly. My memory at the mo is very bad. sorry.

Debra Kay said...

I love the ideas of letting balloons go. Doctor's estimate John had Parkinson's for at least 10 years, if not longer, and last December the doc said he likely had less than 6 months-so he was a trouper too. It was pretty apparent when he let go and then it was just a waiting game. This may sound odd, but John was so in to making sure loose ends were tied up I can't imagine him having a sudden death. Your including him in your posting and drawing means the world to me and to him too I'm sure.

Just when I think I'm done crying, another batch of tears rolls out but they are the healing kind.

Michele said...

Mim, you are a great friend and coworker. I'm not sure if my coworkers would even notice if I got sick.