A good friend has parents that are a little bit younger than mine, and who have been in good health except for the usual bumps and bruises. The family has been planning for a Holiday feast in the traditional Italian style, with a large gathering at a sisters house and family coming from all around. I got a sad phone call today from my girlfriend with the news that her mom was in the hospital in very bad condition from what might have been a stroke - altho she fell and hit her head so no one knows.
It's all so sudden. One minute you're fine and shopping at the Stop and Shop and the next minute - you're on the floor. Then intensive care. Then doctors with grave faces. Bad news, some hopeful news, bad news again. The family gathers and waits.
You can't say anything in these situations except to hug and send prayers, possibly provide food for the family. We've all experienced the sudden bad news situations, and we all pray that it doesn't happen to our loved ones.
What has me so befuddled is how to reconcile the day to day and the extraordinary. How can one be a human being in this crazy world, and yet truly take the time to appreciate family and friends? How will you know who will be around tomorrow? How can you tell everyone how much you love them, and to not sweat the small stuff, and to enjoy life, to dance, to sing, to draw to enjoy. How do you not worry about a dirty floor, or chores to be done, or work to go to.
Greater minds than mine have struggled with these questions and there are probably dozens of self-help books that guide one thru some kind of process. I don't know - I don't read those books.
So, to write my own self help book - or to try to live a bit of a better life, I plan to kiss more, to love more, to stop criticizing, to cuddle babies, and old people and to try like hell NOT to sweat the small stuff. I WILL enjoy my folks more, I will smooch with my husband more, I'll stop obsessing about paint colors, and with all of this angelic behavior, I'll still remember that I am human and that I have to love me most and first.
Happy Holidays to all my friends out there. FY - have a wonderful Oz trip; Deb - I'll see you in Sarasota. Switch, Michelle, Kerstin, Mr P., Sarah - and all who read this - I have come to depend on you and appreciate knowing you all so much; the exchange of ideas, and feedback from all of you has made me so much braver than I was a year ago.
Off to Florida tomorrow to visit my folks and I plan to have a lovely time.
17 comments:
Do have a lovely time dear Mim. I'm going to make sure to spend some extra time with my folks tomorrow too.
Dear, dear, sweet Mim...
give your folks an extra hug from me please as i don't have mine to hug anymore.
this time of the year is a very thought provoking, time anyway mim, and although their mom has probably lived a long and fruitful life, it is the saddest thing they are going through.
Hey Mim, have some lovely days with your family in Florida. This post was wonderful and thanks specially for the last paragraph.
A big, waaaaarm hug to you!
I find it helps to read a favourite Jane Austen.
Hi! Mim: Thank-you for posting to my blog. I see the illness of parents is close to you. It is not a kind world sometimes. I have heard nothing more about my Father. I was so shocked when I got the txt, while shopping, I would have thought they would have said something else. ( I am the Black Sheep in the family. - Not wanted, ever. )
Your friend though seems to be in a close loving family. I can only say that it is hard to see a love one leaving the way you think of them. I hope for a great recovery for your friend. The hard hit on a head though, that is never a good thing to experience.
Have a Great Time with all your family and try and spend more time this coming year with your loving family.
((( Circle of Family Hugs )))
Sherrie
Big warm hugs Mim, I hope you and yours have a wonderful holiday. I think anything I can say regarding your friend and her mother has been said, so I won't add anything except to echo your last paragraph - it's been an exciting and sustaining 8 months for me too - looking forward to next year and the explosions of creativity it will bring forth from us all.
You are all so right, and Eliz - this is so funny - I just started reading "Emma".
Sarah - have a wonderful one, your changes in style have been wonderful to watch.
A virutal group hug to all.
You are all so right, and Eliz - this is so funny - I just started reading "Emma".
Sarah - have a wonderful one, your changes in style have been wonderful to watch.
A virutal group hug to all.
I hope your friend's Momma gets well soon...
Excellent blog you have here!
Here's wishing you all the compliments of the season:
And have a Wonderful 2008!
;->...
from
Gledwood
"Vol 2"...
I am testing my comments section, for some reason the comments aren't coming thru on email...hmmm...it's either blogger or aol that's messing up - wanna take bets?
test, test!
:)
what you say is so true...it's just hard to let the small stuff go....although I've been pretty good at ignoring the dust bunnies of late. Having lost both my parents in the past few years, I know how important it is to appreciate every day....have a blessed Christmas and safe travels.
Mim, I'm so glad to know you too! You are absolutely right, we need to live every minute we can, and appreciate our time with those we love. Doing otherwise is madness. My sister-in-law, who was one year younger than I am, died a week ago and this has made me so aware of how important it is to focus on what really matters. Merry Christmas to you.
I thought about this today at lunch with my parents. What does it matter if they are sometimes irritating-what MATTERS is that we spent a little time together. Somehow thinking about how transient it all is made it a little bit more special.
All wonderful advice. Thanks for reminding me to stop worrying about the things I can't really control and start enjoying life. Have a wonderful holiday.
Hi Mim, I just had a look at my portrait Moleskine and when I saw your portrait I thought to myself, that you must look completely different from what I drew (I´m thinking about the pic you posted recently of you and your mom). I still owe you a (pirate) portrait, so the next time you have some close up pics of your face, just send them to me. I need to get you better this time. :) But no need to hurry... I´ll be doing the portrait some day - who knows when. Hope you are enjoying your time in Florida.
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