Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My mind amazes me sometimes





I started this drawing as an undersea fantasy - which I love - and initially drew a snake to add some interest. When I picked up this drawing again yesterday, I immediately added additional snakes, and some danger and conflict to the drawing. The snakes are eating the fish, and look more dangerous than I had originally intended. Ms. Em made her way into the picture - she wasn't there before yesterday and she is (as usual) blithely heading towards danger (can you see her, she's still in pencil - I'm conflicted about adding her).

The drawing is too big to scan so I took pictures instead, and as usual, without natural light they are not so good. But I think you can see the overall feeling.


My mind amazes me because while I know, intellectually, that I am upset about a friends upcoming divorce and upset about the economy and upset and nervous about the upcoming election - I didn't realize HOW upset and unsettled I felt. Obviously I feel like I am walking on a thin layer of safety and feel uncomfortable about what lies beneath.


Since I've only been drawing or crafting for about a year and a half, it surprises me what comes out in my artwork. Mr P always told me to dig deep to find the angst - and I didn't know that I could really do it. I have him to thank for letting some angst come thru in my artwork. DH gets somewhat upset when he sees these conflicted drawings and prefers to see "happier" artwork. That surprises me in a way, he is an artist and understands the process - but it also shows me how he sees me - again...somewhat of a surprise.


I do like to do happy artwork, it's fun...people like it...and it makes me feel good. But sometimes in the middle of a happy undersea fantasy, the darker side can show thru. I guess it's better to get it out than to try to hide my feelings....right?

11 comments:

sukipoet said...

absolutely, get it out. How wonderful that drawing has become a resource for you in that direction at times, when your self needs it. Art is not about being pretty all the time, but IS in my opinion about exploring the depths when that arises. I think you are luck y to be able to do this on ppaper. I dont think I am. Dreams however do plunge the depths. Last night I had an intense dream about a friend visiting and in the dream I was angry at her all the time and yelling and she was blithely meeting a man and establishing a new relationship and talking to him and ignoring me. Hmmm.....

soulbrush said...

your mind doesn't amaze me at all....that mr p! he certainly knows all about angst. i don't believe artists can be good at what they do without huge depths of feelings, and you've got those in abundance.

Debra Kay said...

Hmmmm, I read once when you dream about snakes it can mean that something you fear is really your ally....maybe drawing them is similar?

I can't remember an election that has upset me, drug me down and depressed me the way this one has. Because, try as we might, we really all DO believe each of our opinions is the "right one"

I really am going to lay low this week-watch movies, etc. I have made up my mind, and the further debates are just annoying the crap out of me....all the pleading and chest beating-I just want to scream "what do you want from me????"...and really, I should be asking myself what I want from myself. Hmmm, you ought to be a therapist Mim.

Lynn said...

Absolutely wonderful to get it out...healing, processing all those dark feelings, fears...normal..you are helping us all work through ours with your art, forinstance, my immediate reaction to seeing Ms Em was to shout at you to get her an air mask quickly please, as I feared she might drown without one. I did not fear that she'd be hurt by the fish...I see her exploring her unconscious here...felt she is safe in doing so. Perhaps DH likes to see your happy side, would prefer to stay in denial that you have fears too. Easier for him perhaps.
Thanks for sharing all of this.

Lynn said...

PS Wonderful drawing by the way too.
;-)

ElizT said...

Your drawings are graceful and unusual, always a pleasure, and a good vehicle for feelings.
I once did one of myself pushing family members off a raft.

MuseSwings said...

You're drawings are wonderful. Snakes gotta eat too, you know. If yours just sat around smiling there would be no truth in your art.

soulbrush said...

there's an award for you on my blog cos I WUV YOUR BLOG!

Fern said...

I love you more all the time Mim... all the gritty bits included.

Mim said...

thanks all - wouldn't we love to see Eliz picture of pushing her family members off a raft???

studio lolo said...

Whoa! I love this Mim! I think if we never went to the dark side we wouldn't embrace the light.
I think the snakes are there to guide Miss Em. I agree about getting her a face mask and air hose or something though :)