What a terrible title for a post - but this is an interesting problem/issue/feeling etc.
Dad died on Thursday AM. Because of laws with death certificates etc, we could not get the grave opened by Friday. You can't bury in a jewish cemetary on Saturday so that leaves Sunday for the funeral.
4 days is too long.
Jewish funerals don't have a wake or a viewing or any of that but I can see the need for that type of thing if you aren't having the funeral the day afterwards, or even two days after. 4 days is too long to wait with no rituals, no place to go, and nothing to do. No closure.
Mom wants to see Dad "one more time" - and we are not "prepared" for that if you know what I mean. If we had had the funeral right away, we would not even be having the discussion. We are worried sick that she will insist on seeing him, be horrified and more stressed. She is way deep into grieving - and we're all worried about leaving her alone after a few weeks.
I guess we'll see how it goes, but all I can say is "oy". I might even call the rabbi for some advice - altho' mom is not the most religious person - in fact I wish she were more religious so that she could have some comfort from that quarter.
Logic isn't working and we are considering saying "no - you cannot do that". But then she will resent our interferance. Right now we feel that we are dammed if we do...and dammed if we don't.